MITM #234

Autumn leaves whisper to us their sweet song

As they crackle and crunch while we walk along.

The air is brisk and the smell is amber.

I hide my shit-stained undies at the bottom of the hamper.

The coffee is hot and the flavor is pun-kin.

Its my drawers I say that I accidentally took a dump in…

We rejoice each year with this sudden change of the weather.

You know what that means, break out the sweaters!

But alas I can’t because of the discovery she sees…

Apparently my favorite fall cloak is covered in feces.

Happy Fall Everyone!

MITM #233

‘Twas written long ago, on some sort of ancient scroll, made of some sort of ancient parchment: “Be it so, thy first dump to fall upon thee surface of thy moon will be grand indeed!” In keeping with tradition and driven by a curiosity bordering on mild stupidity and ineptitude, Mike and Charley finally reach their final destination. Landing a much needed end to this long winded and meandering story, one which will hopefully be stricken from the record forevermore and never spoken of again.

MITM #232

It’s the kind of thing every little boy dreams of: getting the chance to fly to the moon, land on said moon, and then having the unique opportunity to take a large shit on that very same moon, only to fly back home to a waiting ticker tape parade and a true heroes welcome. It’s all so surreal that it could have come directly out of a book of space themed fairy tales with a scientific spin. God speed sweet princes, may your bodies and bowels fare thee well.

Love Always,

Houston

MITM #231

Carrying the weight of the world upon his larger than normal body, Maniac Mike must contemplate just how in the world he and TDC will make it to the moon. While lying with his soulmate the big man just can’t seem to turn off his giant head. Alone in the woods, body bloated, inflated with MSG, it’s within the television screen that the human balloon finds his only solace.

MITM #230

With bodies and minds full of highly salted and sauced meats and veggies, Mike and TDC begin their long journey towards the truth: the moon. Logistically getting there is a whole other thing. Were talking bout spaceships, space suits, space food, space for Mike’s big ass within the space ship, cameras for space, space for the cameras, space for any extra soy sauces or condiments for the space food or any other land food brought aboard, funding for the space trip and so on and so forth. Its a lot of work, but also a heck of a lot of fun too. Cheers.

MITM #229

When I need a bite but have no place in sight, I simply pick up the phone and make it a take out night.

So many choices for me, a large body to ponder; but in the end I don’t fret, for there’s no need to wander.

My appetite intense, my pangs quite the shock; my body craves carbs, General Tso and noodles via wok.

Looking though the menu the options are endless, not ordering a few egg rolls would just be senseless.

Soon the order is placed and delivered in due time; the payment: charge, and the portions: all large.

MITM #228

“Analogies are a lot like cookies, they taste good even when they crumble” - Known But Forgotten

On holiday from the the rat race and rigamarole of sports podcasting excellence, Mike and Charley are at peace amongst fauna and flora. It’s within this silent melancholy that an epiphany is awakened within big Mike’s big ‘ol melon head. Finally the connections are fitting, the pieces are connecting, and the answers seem fit for discussion and there’s only one man who can help lead the charge towards total enlightenment.

MITM #227

“When duty calls you better not shit your pants…” - Unknown

First Commander Chuck has just entered into the final stage of his mission to the moon. After months of hard pressed, sweaty, wet, and downright silly trainings, TDC is now ready to disembark the ship and relive himself on the moon. The mission; which has been meticulously planned and executed with the help of larger than most earth based moon-man Mike, has been mostly successful, all that awaits now is for TDC’s final dropping(s).

MITM #226

Believe it or not the world was once just one giant floating piece of rock, just rumbling around in the ocean without a care. It was a wild time. Full of all kinds of strange plants, bugs, and weird looking fish things that had like no face or body… Imagine that! But hey, that was just how it was. It was a simpler time indeed. A time when we were one solid thing of soil-like stuff. Unbroken. Undone. This was the time of Pangaea

MITM #225

When opportunity comes a knock’n you can either answer the door and embrace the good fortune with open arms and grace. Or (as I like to do) pretend not to hear, lie back down on the couch in silence, and simply wait out said knocker until they eventually move on to another unsuspecting larf. It’s your choice after all. You hold all the cards, and it’s you and only you who can open that door and walk over the threshold. What lies beyond that gateway is scary and unfamiliar, yet necessary towards living a more stable and secure life… so I prefer not to enter. After all Mother needs me more here.

MITM #224

Most birthdays come but once a year. And that’s really too bad. For if it was up to us, we’d celebrate you every single day of the calendar year. So enjoy today. YOUR day. The day YOU were born. Today is yours and yours alone. Its YOUR DAY! Hooray! And for that we wish you the happiest of birthdays. May you dance.

MITM #223

When the world seems scary, gray, moist, bee infested, sticky, wild, waxy, muddy, misty, mad, muddy and sad; it’s a nice feeling to know there are constants that never fail to impress and comfort us mere peons. I speak not of thou state, nor faith based institution, or even the sun and moon collective. Instead when us broken down and beaten sacks of shit need an extra lift to get off our collective asses and begin our slight contribution to the whole of society to only huddle back into our holes when the work day is done, we know we can take solace in the fact that the Monsters in the Morning are on the air and understand our plight. So listen in, enjoy and cheers to another day of breath and motion. Go Bears…?

MITM #222

It’s a simple game with a fairly simple goal: become king. While there may be only 4 squares, allowing 4 players at a time, those gunning for an opportunity to battle within the squared-circle may sometimes wait amongst hundreds of equally eager hopefuls to get a chance to finally step up into the one square and play ball. Over the years different incarnations of what is most commonly known as “4-Square” have been developed and enjoyed all over the country and world. However, the shear essence of the game has always stayed constant; and that is when entering the squares one must surrender themselves to the game, forgo all preconceived notions and allow your body to move poetically with the rhythm of the bounce. When it’s happening its pure synchronicity, pure spontaneity, pure joy. Ball up.

MITM #221

It’s a plague that’s sweeping the nation and more or less the entire world, one that effects 99.99% of all able bodied humans and even some highly advanced humanoid cyborgs and robots programed to feel pain. It’s our bodies and they ache. They really do. Our backs, our legs, our upper ass, our lower ass, our feet, our neck, our thighs… they hurt. Why you ask… Well, theres a variety of issues that can cause minor aches and pains, the good news is these can be alleviated with different holistic and pharmaceutical means. However, that fact doesn’t take away from the realization that your body aches right now, at this vary moment, and if that is the case our heart goes out to you. Good luck and take care.

MITM #220

I don’t know about you but I live my life inside a bracket. Every waking decision I make is first put into a large and complex bracket. Then once inside the bracket these choices are paired up against other possibilities, ideas, wishes, wants, random thoughts and the like. In order to move on, these queries must prove stellar against all odds, and out wit and out last their opponents to hopefully survive round after round of sudden death in order to play once again. It’s a complex process which takes months and sometimes years to complete. And has single handily ruined every close relationship I have ever had, destroyed my career countless amounts of times, and has rendered me utterly useless in society. But hey, I couldn’t imagine any other way to live.

Go Bears

〰️

Go Bears 〰️

MITM #219

Join Tyler and Wayne, self proclaimed Big Papas and Co-Fathers of the Millennium, as they talk all things DAD! Listen in as the New Dads on the Block break down such hot topics including: Meal time 101, Bed Time Tips and Tricks, and Balancing it All. So heat up some nuggets, fill up a big bowl of ice cream, and pour a glass of Coke because the Dads are on the air and you deserve a break.

MITM #218

In a not so distant galaxy, in a not so distant universe, in a not do distant time, there floats a planet not so distant from ours. A planet of love, a planet of lust, a planet of war. The planet is Okonikus, and those who call it home, the Okoniki. live in relative peace. With the help of the Iys, the protectors of Okonikus, life is good. However, with the increasing assaults from their rivals the Mullas, peace on Okonikus is being threatened more and more every day. Who will win the war for Okonikus? And many more questions of the sort are partially answered in this week’s special episode of Monsters in the Morning.

MITM #217

Well looks like you really dropped the ball on this one! Here I am all geared up and ready to provide one heck of a spectacular show and one half of the talent no call-no shows?! Needless to say I am sick with disappointment in your selfish and belligerent behavior. Hurt and disappointed to say the least. But beyond that, the fact that you not only let me down but EVERYONE at the station down! Theres just no excuse for it. I just, I just can’t help but feel utter sadness by the unfortunate turn of events. I… I… I don’t know what to think anymore. I just don’t know. What leads a man to not even have the decency to pick up the phone and call to let those whom depend of them know their whereabouts is a question I fell will haunt me for many years to come. So please don’t apologize to me, apologize to the team.

MITM #216

What a magical and intense year 2022 has already been. A packed and cracked year already filled with awe and wonder, joy and poise, gladness and sadness, grumpy and gold, cold nights and chilly days, sunny skies and murky caves, donuts and dumpsters, big cats with big heats, the sad mixed with the mad, the lonely coveting the loved and so on and so forth… Tis the streets are truly streets a buzz with the silent steps of the ever wondering hopelessly bogged down clowns of yesteryear, awaiting one last curtain call… Hail! Hail. Hail?

MITM #215

Looking for some good old fashion law and order? Justice served well done? Well look no further than Judge Stark! Bringing his quick pace, no nonsense personality coupled with his love/hate affection for the supernatural, Judge Stark brings out the truth in a time of so many unknowns…