This is Where You Listen
"You can't fly an elephant without wings, dats just science folks."
"Da Mayflower was both a great big boat and a nickname I call my beautiful wife during Springtime."
"'Ave you ever seen one of dez shows with da guys who build utter dings outta would, dos are nice."
"A handful of sand, is a handful of history."
"Gimme a break paddy-cake!"
"Tree, Too, One: Ready or not here Stark comes!"
Greetings citizens of this here land, we come in peace! It's been a long journey but we bring good tidings and well wishes. My companion and co-captain "Sir TD Charles" has widdled a small dove out of a large chunk of walnut that he has asked me to give to you as a peace offering. Isn't that nice! Me? I am "Sir Michael the Large" and I hope we can find trust in each others company, live in harmony, and support each other like good neighbors do. Now... What's on the docket for dinner?
I was thinking lately and have come to the conclusion that while pondering these very thoughts no matter what happens, no matter how hard things may become, how crazy it may all seem, that there truly is no mountain too high, no valley too valley-ie, no obstacle too much of an obstacle that it can't be moved or perhaps even stepped over or around, you see I have to move forward, I MUST move forward, continue to reach higher, be smarter, study harder. And It all makes a heck of a lot of sense, well at least I think so.
Greetings big city sports fans! Strap on your ball cap, lace up your cleats, and lets get playing! That's right its baseball season once again and what better way to ring in America's game of kings than with a visit to old Grandpa Mike and Uncle Charley's basement. So grab a seat on an empty 5 gallon bucket and relax, open a nut, toss the shell on the ground, its cool, we'll sweep it up later, and lets get playing. Batter up?
Are you feeling hot big papa pooh-pooh? Huh? Are you in the mood big daddy checko? Si? Are you ready for the tiger big boy? Yeah? Yeah. I know you are, yeah you like it when I say these things don't you big piggy? Well then I know what you'll love even more than my filthy speech patterns. It's the Monsters in the Morning... After Hours. Yep, it's all the things you love, but steamier, sweatier, stickier, and guaranteed to leave you in a puddle of fun. Outchy-Wah-Wah!
When your feeling low, and don't know what to do, get on the phone and call Dr. Q.
If your body aches, and you have the shakes, no need to fear 'cause Q is here.
So come on in, and take a seat, take off your pants, your in for a treat.
Q knows health, Q listens good too, Q is real, Dr. Q.... he loves loves you.
Some days are better than others. Like a second hand hoagie given to you by a co-worker or perhaps a mutual acquaintance, some are good, some... but it's a gamble. But what can you do... You gotta keep moving, gotta keep breathing... gotta keep eating. Keep loving. Keep caring. Keep sharing. Keep seeing... Keep from... keeping. So there's that. Go bears.
WVBI is so very, very, very, excited to be allowed the upmost privilege, and pleasure, of presenting to you all yet another volume in the ever expanding compilation compact disc box set: "How Long is a Moment?". Featuring such memorable and timeless songs like: "Don't Walk Out of Me, I Won't Walk Out on You", "Panda Bear...", "Strange World, Bigger City", "Don't Forget Me Santa Fe" and so much, much, much, much, much.....much more. So very much more.
Hey folks, have you ever eaten so much pizza that you felt like you were going to puke? But, instead of the easy solution of stopping the shoving of mass amounts of cheese filled doughy bread into your pie hole you continued on... Well... That's kind of like this episode. Enjoy the feast you glutton.
Looking for love when still in search of myself...
Beating up my brain as I lay upon the shelf...
Used up and on display like an elf...
This. Day. Hurts...
What defines beauty? Is it the way the moonlight strikes upon an entire pig roasting on an open flame, or perhaps its the pride a local baker-man/baker-women puts into each in every macaroon. Here at MITM we find beauty in the most basic of life's many nuances: the extra jar of mayo found deep within the pantry, the way the grease so gently glistens on a slice of pizza pie, and of course the line at your favorite buffet empty of all other patrons, waiting really. patiently, like it was all made just for you. Enjoy the feast that is life, and of course, go bears too.
Are you sitting down? Good. Alright, so... Imagine, if you would... No, no, no... Pretend! Yea pretend if you can... a place. No! Better yet: a World. NO! I'm sorry. Pretend: A Universe! Ok? Yea? Yes. A Universe. Now, in this "Universe" we see... NO, we OPEN on a man... well he's not really a man as he's...well I'll get into that later... RIGHT NOW We open on the universe. YES! We see it all, well... the viewer sees it all. You with me? So...
Big City Dreams, Big City Teams. It's a simple concept. And here at MITM we bask in the glory of our fair teams competing for championship gold. Join in as Mike and Charley discuss all things "big game" (wink, wink) related, various food items that will be served up at Mike's exclusive "Big Game Bash", as well as a quick check from both of their doctors who no doubt will also be watching this year's "big game". Plus "Big" Cat! Enjoy the show folks.
Sit back, strap in, and don't forget the popped corn! That's right big boys its time once again for the Monsters in the Morning's First Annual Pre-Oscar Pre-Show Extravaganza Show Fun Spectacular of Light and Sound. Hold tight as Mike and Charley give you their picks for best motion picture of the past year 2017 and beyond. Wow. It's a big one.
Holy cannoli its a tad coldy outside. You can say that again. Ok. Holy cannoli its a tad coldy out there. Oh... I.... Ahh... I didn't think you would... What? No. I just didn't... Didn't WHAT? I just... I just... you didn't have to say it again, I stated that to reiterate and put emphasis on your statement, hence, I agree its coldy and not only do I agree I hole heartily agree to the point where I can (but don't need to) hear you say it again. Ok. Well it is chilly. Agreed.
As we close the door on 2017 we open our arms to 2018 and a fresh start, a new beginning, a new life. Join Mike and Charley as they look back at their Top 10 moments of 2017. Featuring such classics as: the time Mike got his head stuck in a giant jar of mayo, Charley learns how to properly sheer a sheep, and a delicious family chicken salad recipe from Mr. Bill Stark himself. Greet the new year with cheer, not fear. Peace and Love in 2018.
You can't spell Christmas without Cotton. Join in the holiday fun with the Monsters in the Morning annual holiday special featuring Cotton Man and his Sleigh Full of Cheer. 'Tis the season for family, friends, and family-friends, and we at MITM hope you all have a safe and joyful Christmas. God Bless.
I live it. I breath it. I sleep with it. And in some ways I eat it. I consume sports at all moments of my life. During every waking fucking hour, sports are there. I welcome sports into every aspect of my life, from the mundane to the very intimate, sports will always have a seat at the table. Sports have always been there for me, and I will always be there for sports, even as it drives those who love me most away. Sports, I giveith thee my heart. Do what you will with it.
Yo HO HO with a big 'ol bag of moles (the kind that grow on your skin, you know what I'm talking bout...) Any who, its time once again to visit the wild and wondrous world of Stark Naked. Join Bill as he provides some helpful tips to keep your holiday season extra terrestrial free, cause after all: An alien free holiday is a care free holiday. And dat folks is da problem.
There was a time I could look in the mirror and smile, proud of my body, proud of my soul. I felt whole, pure, unique... dare I even say... special. But those days are gone. Whisked away on a breeze like the dandelion wishes of yesteryear. Nowadays the mirror is nothing more than an acquaintance in passing. We are cordial like good neighbors should be, we acknowledge each-others presence, exchanging glances and half smiles, but the relationship is only as deep as a spring puddle after a sun shower.
